Crossing Fingers

Well, yesterday was more interesting than we bargained for. At suppertime Monday, Nicky wouldn't come down the stairs, so Dad Wood put on his leash and dragged him down (I wasn't home, and I'm a bit ticked at him for this). That night, Nicky was more restless than usual, not moving around, but shifting and whining softly. In the morning, he couldn't get his hind feet under him, and if I lifted him onto his feet, he would sag sideways. Testing him at the vets shows that while he still has muscle control, he's lost proprioception - the ability to tell where his hind feet are. Without that, he can't place his feet properly or make corrections to keep himself upright.

The vet say he has a bulging disc and has put him on Prednisone. If it's going to help, then he should show improvement in the next 48 hours. If it doesn't help, then we start discussing whether we have the money for back surgery for a basset. Cross your fingers, please!

It's Summertime, Summertime, Sum-sum-summertime!

Well, after being put off for a week to make up for excessive snow days, the boys had their official last day of school on Thursday. Rob was unable to make Robbie's elementary school graduation (helpfully held in the middle of the morning), but Dad W. and I were there. Robbie received the Presidential Award for Academic Excellence, which came with a certificate and a letter from the President. He was amazingly excited about this, and we go looking tomorrow for an appropriate frame to stick them in. The award is pretty stringent - A's in all subject all year (not the average, no B's allowed), and a Pass-plus in both segments of the ISTEP, which is the Indiana standardized testing protocol. The girl who lives behind us is the only other student to be both a member of the Gifted & Talented group, and to receive the award. She might as well have just stood up for the entire ceremony, as she received just about every award the school had to offer except the sports awards.

Aaron had a rougher ending of the school year, by being out sick from the second to last Friday, straight through until the last four days. He rounded out the last four days by being sent home both Monday and Tuesday for throwing up, as the sore throat he had all the previous week seemed to have left his gag reflex in hyper mode. He's a pretty gaggy kid anyway, and this last week, pretty much anything would make him gag and throw up. So his last complete day was Wed., because then we had a doctor's appointment on Thursday. Ironically, it was nothing to do with his week of being sick, being a well-child check-up to follow up on his occupational therapy. When we made the appointment, the last day of school was still the week before, and the boys' pediatrician has a 2-3 month lead time on well-child visits, so rescheduling wasn't really optimal.

So Aaron was feeling pretty grumpy about his last week of school, and who could blame him? This all changed Saturday when we got a letter from the school telling us that his teacher had recommend him to the Gifted & Talented program. This doesn't mean automatic entry, but it's a big vote of confidence from his teacher (she didn't recommend Robbie when he was in her class, interestingly enough). He'll be tested in depth at the beginning of the school year and if he does well enough, then he'll be put in the G&T group. I hope he does get in. It's been a great experience for Robbie, once he was put in by his fourth grade teacher (who snuck him into the sessions on the side while pushing for him to be tested for entry). Aaron's so used to having more trouble in school than Robbie, because of his difficulties with writing and coordination, that to be put forward on his own merits earlier than his brother was is just the coolest thing he can imagine.

It's going to be a busy summer with the boys. In about two weeks (EEEK!!), we leave for the Isshinryu World Tournament. This will be followed by a whirlwind trip up to Boston and NYC, and back home for about three weeks, then over to the family reunion in TN, and another couple weeks after that, they'll be done with the summer. During the time we're actually home, the plan is piano for Aaron, guitar for Robbie, swimming and bowling for both kids, and karate, karate, karate for Mommy - with sides of organ. It's looking like my black belt test will probably be in mid-late August, to give things time to settle down after the mad running around. This gives me 11-12 weeks to get ready, which terrifies me just slightly. I know all the things I need to know. Sensei has seen and passed everything I need to do at least once. I have at least first drafts of all my three essay topics - except that Sensei just told me he only wants one paper, so now I have to figure out how to combine them!

In some ways, it's the nebulousness of the progress I need to make by August that's scaring me. There are very few specifics that everyone agrees need work (except the omnipresent "More speed!"), more that everything needs to be smoother, sharper, more focused - more something. There's nothing left to learn that's so specific that I can point to it and say, "okay, I've got that down, show me something else." It's all incremental improvement from here.

For example, speed is about the most concrete thing I have left to work on. It's universally agreed to be one of my weakest points. The other day, both black belts watched me do Tokumine no Kun for the first time in a couple of weeks, and both looked at each other and told me "Hey, that was faster! Good job!" Which was great, except that I had had no perception that I was any faster than I had been before. I had been working on the kata, and working on my speed generally, and working on my speed in the kata, but I had no inkling that I had actually gotten faster with my bo until someone outside told me so. I feel like I'm fumbling in the dark, just trusting that if I work on what I'm being told to work on, I will improve as a result.

I really hate not being able to guage my progress, and I hate even more the panicky feeling that stems from coming up on being tested on exactly that progress I can't guage. But there's not much help for it unless I decide to stay a brown belt forever, and Sensei just might have to shoot me if I did that.

Expect some amount of grumbling and panic on this front for the next twelve-or-so weeks.

That Was Satisfying

I jumped the gun on my family today, and went to see the new Star Trek movie. Rob was not all that interested in seeing it in the theater and was waiting until his father got it on video (as he inevitably will), while Dad W. desperately wants to see the movie - preferably with P (the previously temporary neighbor), but with me if P is not available.

Perhaps because my days of Trekkie-hood stem from high school and before I met Rob, let alone his father, I really wanted to savor the movie by myself first, though. I kept intending to see it last week, but the kids were sick in sequence (they're fine now), and movie-going just wasn't happening. So this morning I played hooky on my organ practice and went off to see the earliest Trek showing.

The movie has it's faults, and I'm not blind to them. Nonetheless, it was a very satisfying Trek experience. They captured the flavor of the original series (TOS) extremely well. Sure, there were plot holes and some very transparent techno-babble, but heck, TOS frequently had plot holes you could drive whole fleets through, and the term "techno-babble" largely originated with TOS, where the writers would simply write what they needed to have happen, and the actors would insert whatever sciency-sounding gobbledygook would sound good.

(spoilerish stuff ahead) One of the things I'm finding amusing is that the Mark 2 history for James T. Kirk actually fits with the behavior of Captain Kirk in TOS better than the official history of Captain Kirk in the Mark 1 universe. Captain Kirk TOS, was very much a maverick, feeling free to ignore orders and directives pretty much at his whim, though he was good enough at pulling it off to get away with it. Yet the Mark 1 history for Captain Kirk shows him as a pretty conventional kid - entered Star Fleet Academy at normal times, and with a few exceptions (Kobiyashi Maru, anyone?), having a stellar, yet not particularly mavericky career as a student. The Mark 2 universe makes Kirk much more of a rebel from the get-go, and one who makes Captain by breaking practically every rule Star Fleet ever wrote (in his first three days in space, no less), but making it pay off in a big way. A Captain who gains his place by making those sorts of gambles in the first place is much more likely to continue to make them later in his career, than one who was promoted up through the ranks in more normal fashion - however fast he managed it.

A minor kudo to the make-up people for the movie. It's darned refreshing to see people who get beat up in a movie still sporting bruises, cuts, and black eyes 2-3 days later in the movie time-frame. This movie didn't suffer from the Kevin Costner effect, wherein all damage inflicted is magically removed by the next scene - so named for the Kevin Costner Robin Hood movie, wherein three seconds after a dunking him in a river, dear Mr. Hood's hair is dry and styled.

All-in-all, if you liked TOS, and aren't either so wedded to it that you find the making of a reboot an offense, or such a fan of the offshoots like DS9, that you're annoyed they'd waste time on a TOS reboot, this is probably worth watching. I was smiling for the rest of the afternoon - and I'll go watch it again when Dad W. goes without the least problem.

New Skills Abound

Life has gotten pretty busy lately. Adding in a 90 minute daily stint on the organ (with a 15 minute drive there and back again) has definitely put a dent in my daily available time. It's fun to be practicing with a purpose again, though.

I find the timing interesting, though. My keyboard skills had largely stagnated for about five years. I would sit down and play now and again. Once or twice I tried to work up my skills, but the effort always floundered within a few weeks. Then, a little before Christmas, Rob found an on-line music shop with sheet music for some of my favorite pieces, and got me two books of New Age piano music as one of my presents. When I pulled out Christofori's Dream, I was startled to find that it was actually a fairly simple piece - one I would have not bothered with under other circumstances, because I always felt I was required in some way to push my skill level. But it was a present, and it was (and is) perhaps my favorite piece of piano music of all time. So I gave myself permission to put in the time to practice it.

And then I realized what I had been doing. Every time I would try to "work up my skills" I would ignore the music I actually loved in favor of doing the music I "ought" to do. No wonder I was getting bored and wandering off within a few weeks! So I started playing what I wanted to, and I started playing every day. And my skills started improving again, despite my not working on 'challenging' pieces. And a few months later, I was offered the chance to become the reserve organist at my church with free organ lessons thrown in the bargain.

Ironically, this means I'm back to doing a lot of obligation music, but when it's to a specific purpose (if you're playing for an Episcopal mass, you had better know "Let Us Break Bread Together), it's a bit different than playing stuff simply because I "ought" to.

It'll be a few weeks at the very least before I'm up for playing a full service, even with plenty of lead time, but it's good to be back and playing again.

Also on the music front, Robbie's guitar lessons continue to go well. He sometimes needs reminding to practice, but I've never had to twist his arm. A reminder is sufficient. We're considering starting Aaron on keyboard this summer while his OT is off on maternity leave. I'm not certain he's ready yet, but a three month trial should be sufficient to find out, and it will give him something to do that's also good for his finger strength and coordination. And if he is ready, then it's worth a little scrimping to keep him going when his OT gets back (we'll pay for the initial set of lessons with the money that would have gone to the OT co-pay).

M has been back to class at the dojo about 4-5 times so far. It's a little strange, because he doesn't really join in much. If we ask, he'll teach - usually something from jujitsu, rather than Isshinryu, but if we don't ask, then he usually goes off to the side and does his own practice rather than joining in the class activity, whatever it happens to be. I'd still like it if he became a regular, but I'm wondering if he really has any intention of really joining in, or if he's just out to use the space. He does teach readily if asked, though, and he chock-full of interesting, useful stuff to learn, so I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt unless he starts becoming detrimental to the class at large.

Only a little over a month to go to the World Tournament now. Apparently the state of the economy is really hurting attendance, which is a shame, but I'm still really looking forward to it. Now if I can only achieve my standing ambition of not finishing dead last in kata. I have a video of myself performing Sunsu, which is my intended kata for the tournament. If I can figure out how to put it up, I will.

Kiss of Death

That's what my father-in-law has taken to calling me lately, and rather what it feels like to me.

For some reason a lot of people I know peripherally are either getting sick or dying. None of them are close friends, no relatives, nothing terribly traumatic for me (as opposed to their friends and family, some of these are major tragedies), but the aggregate of sheer numbers is starting to get to me.

To stick to this week alone: Sunday, my FIL's lady friend landed in the ICU with congestive heart failure and is now scheduled for a valve replacement. Tuesday my yoga teacher's father (met once) died. And Friday our neighbor across the street died. None of these people had known problems a week ago. Our neighbor is particularly shocking. He was only five years or so older than Rob & I, and while he was on disability for a bad back, there was nothing known wrong that should have caused a sudden death. Rob & I are trying to figure out what we can do for his wife & kid (he had a 14-year old boy). Offers of "anything we can do" all to often turn out to mean nothing because people don't want to impose, so we're trying to think of something more concrete we can offer.

I was very glad to get to a particularly vigorous karate class last night, I needed the sheer physical work to shake my head clear. M was back again, and Sensei had him teach part of the class, which became a quickie primer on jiu-jitsu style ground work. Fascinating and vigorous, even if it gives me a somewhat sore neck this morning, due to working on fending off a full-speed/force choke attempt.

Other random news - Robbie is signed up for band in middle school next year. He'll be playing flute. Rob has started adding fish to his salt water tank: chromis, clownfish, niger, and a white-tail angel fish. And Dad W. has got to get a hobby or something, because I'm starting to feel like I have a retired husband - but I never married this guy!

Return of the Routine

This is the first week in a month where I've actually managed to get back into my usual exercise routine, and it felt really good - sore muscles and all. Between Dad W. moving in, straining the tendon in my foot, having Aaron come down with strep, vacation, and other general life stuff, the morning couple of hours at the gym just hasn't been happening.

Most especially it's been an excellent week for karate. Tuesday was a straight up fight night, and I found a new strategy that's working nicely for the moment. We'll see how long it takes my fellow karateka to figure out what I'm doing. Essentially, I've been a consistent left-sided fighter for the last several years. I much prefer to kick left-footed, and in keeping that side forward, I've become more comfortable with my left hand than with my right as well (I'm ambidextrous in the rest of my life). Which has led to not using my right side adequately, and in particular never throwing my otherwise good reverse punch.

Well, in trying to even up and keep the right side forward, I discovered that precisely because I'm more comfortable and quick with my left, if my right side is forward, I do use my left reverse punch. Sensei is thrilled (he's been yelling at me to use my reverse for ages now), but hasn't yet realized why I've suddenly gotten the hint. Even better, because he's used to my left side being my preferred side, he keeps maneuvering around to my right and setting himself up *evil grin*.

We've switched from a Thursday to a Friday class, and not everybody has made the schedule switch yet. So we were missing several people Friday, and as it shook out, we had a brown belt only class - which meant we went over in detail exactly everything I've been needing to go over. I polished up the last little bit of both Kusanku and Kusanku Sai that I was dicey on (different spots, oddly enough), got a good viewing and critique of Tokumine no Kun (Bo kata) and Sunsu, and got to practice the last three self-defense sequences - which until Friday I could only practice with Sensei because the other brown belts hadn't been taught them yet.

Generally, I'm extremely pleased with how my kata are shaping up. I need to be careful on Tokumine no Kun - apparently my jo-length practice staff (for indoor practice) is giving me bad habits, like a too narrow grip - but my memory of it is solid. Everything I need to know is in there solidly now, it's just polish, polish, polish. Plus working on speed and snap.

I will say that ending up back where I started with Sunsu is driving me a little crazy though. It seems like 90% of the kata is spent moving forward, with very little backward motion, yet somehow I need to end up exactly where I bowed in. I've improved over the last couple of weeks, going from ending up five feet forward and three right to only two feet forward and one right, but it's still not close enough. That I get 1-2 practice sessions a week where I can accurately track my starting and finishing positions isn't helping any - but I'll get there. Thank God ending where I started isn't a requirement for the weapons katas.

In other news, Robbie is doing extremely well with his guitar lessons this time around. What a difference a year makes! Last year he had to be threatened or bribed into practicing and just never developed much forward momentum, so after six months we gave up. This year he wanted to start again. We told him that if we were going to pay, he needed to practice. Well, he's holding to his side of the bargain. He's missed maybe three days of practice in the last six weeks, and he's improving by leaps and bounds. His teacher is telling me pretty much weekly what a wonderful memory Robbie has, and how amazingly fast he's progressing. Even more interesting, the middle school where he'll go next year has free music lessons for band instruments. Robbie wants to take percussion and seems completely unfazed by the idea that this means practicing two kinds of instrument each day. I'm crossing my fingers that this works out - especially as rhythm is the one thing Robbie is having consistent trouble with (in the more problematic "can't hear what he's doing wrong" mode, rather than the "can hear the problem but can't seem to fix it") Percussion training could do wonders for him in short order if things go right.

The dogs are settling into their new pack order. Unexpectedly, Nicky (up until now known as the world's most submissive dog), has stepped up and started enforcing his standards of behavior. This has resulted in a blissfully quick drop in the amount of barking around here, as Nicky *does not approve* of random noise for no good reason. The ultimate shake out seems to be that Rascal (henceforth known as the WLD or Wee Little Doggie for his unfortunate attitude towards house-breaking and marking) is technically alpha dog, but largely ignored by the others because he's elderly and simply doesn't get around much. The WLD still barks the house down regularly, but as Nicky steps up as the de facto pack leader, the other two are starting to walk away when the WLD gets going instead of joining him.

There's no two ways about it, though. We're going to have to replace the carpets in this house when the dog situation is history. They're already past salvage (not that they were in great shape before), and we've only had the full pack for a month.

Random musings

I'm still here. I'm not quite sure why I haven't been posting these last few weeks (except for the week I wasn't home, that was obvious), but coming here and writing a blog post has just not tended to even occur to me while I'm sitting at the computer this last little bit.

It might have something to do with there being simultaneously too much and too little going on. I.e. there's a lot of stuff that keeps me busy, but it's all stuff that either makes for boring blog entries (like the various complications of getting my FIL stashed up here with us from TN), or I've discussed before.

Today's my fortieth birthday, and it feels like that ought to mean something. Like I should have my life together by now, or at least have a firm direction. I mean a 40-year-old ought to know what she wants to be when she grows up, right? But like topics for blog posts, there's simultaneously too much and too little. Many, many things I would love to do or be, but none that has that deep drive that would compel me in that one direction.

Maybe it's my mid-life crisis - in which case a month of dithering in a circle instead of blog posting is probably getting off easy.

The actual day today has been pretty nice. I made pumpkin scones in the morning to take to Aaron's class fiesta in the afternoon, then spent the afternoon first at the fiesta, then taking the boys out for ice cream. When Rob came home we went out to Erika's Restaurant (excellent German food) for dinner, though we decided to take a rain check on the planned movie - a combination of tired, full, and lack of enthusiasm for the current available set of movies. He gave me a gift card for some new clothes and a Wavemaster freestanding heavy bag for my presents. Tomorrow we juggle some of the basement furnishings to give me a place to set it up (right next to the giant fish tanks somehow seems like a bad idea...).

No karate this week, which makes two weeks running (drat!). Tuesday Aaron came down with strep and Rob had to work late, so that was a no-go. Thursday, Sensei called at nearly the last minute to cancel class due to an unspecified family problem combined with awful weather (thunderstorms). Between that and last week I'm feeling seriously under-exercised and under-practiced. I've gone through my katas a few times, but not the kind of concentrated practice I can get in when I go to the Y or to the dojo. I am hoping that if we can set up a corner of the basement for me, I'll be able to improve the quality of my at-home workouts. Though I have yet to convince Rob to let me practice my self-defense sequences on him. He just doesn't trust that I won't misjudge the hip throw and actually slam him on his back on the concrete.

Anyway, presuming that nobody comes down with strep next week, I should be back to a more normal schedule next week. I'll try to ensure more normal posting to go with it!